Review Ninja's Shogun (1980)

8 nov, 22:35

Review Ninja's Shogun (1980)
a.k.a.  Ninja bugeicho momochi sandayu
genre:martial arts,action

How can you go wrong with Sonny Chiba and Hiroyuki Sanada in one movie. Both are great martial artists with quite good acting abilities. In "Shogun's ninja" however they forgot to act. They are just there. It could be that there are different versions available. The version I saw was dubbed in English and had a very seventies musical score. I know that for a seventies production some of the stunts are incredible. Now it just looks horrible. Most of the martial arts scenes are poorly executed or badly edited. This wouldn't be much of a problem if the martial arts was good! To be honest the fights were below average and not that interesting. The ninja's in this movie do have some special abilities. But in comparison with other ninja movies made in the seventies these ninja's don't cut it. These ninja's don't seem to be very powerful and mysterious. For me that is an important factor. I considered that this movie could be meant as a parody. But for that to work the action scenes had to be more exciting. I wanted to like this movie but just couldn't. And this is coming from someone who loves the cheesiest of Ninja movies.

Review Killer Toon (2013)

8 nov, 21:20

a.k.a. Deo Web-toon: Ye go Sal in (2013)
genre:s lasher,thriller,horror

Killer Toon starts very effective with nice visuals and some gruesome killings. It sets the tone of what to expect. And for a while it does bring you the scares and thrills. At that point you are not entirely sure if you are dealing with a slasher or something supernatural. And guessing what going on is very fun.
  
Then it loses a lot of steam. So much so that it was hard to sit through the last half hour. It then goes through what a lot of the South Korean horror movies suffer from. One twist too many. Which is fine if it has a nice pace to it. But here it takes forever to get the plot going and with lack of really likeable characters I personally did not feel compelled to stay invested or interested. Also the explanation given for what is happening is so far fetched it detracts from the enjoyment. I liked how Killer Toon try to do something fresh and therefore it's a shame it can't keep up with it. Currently feel very mixed about this. But I am leaning to recommending people to watch it for the first hour and then forget about the rest. 

Review Vamp (1986)

5 nov, 17:36

 genre: horror,comedy

Vampires in an Eighties setting what can go wrong? Well apparently quite a few things. But first the good things. Grace Jones makes quite a compelling Vampire. She does not speak at all which makes her effectively scary. From all intents and purposes the acting is sincere and taken serious for the most part. So the characters seem genuine. The cinematography is good and very atmospheric. Which brings me to the overall feel Vamp has. Unexpectedly there is a build up in suspense. You actually are wondering of what is going to happen next. However Vamp lacks punch. It never excels in either the horror element or the comedy one. In fact some jokes are so forced on you that it became painful at times. But that could have been overlooked if things were happening. And here is where Vamp fails to convince. There is not much going on. It is like the director simply follows the script as is written and was not capable of filling in the blanks to transition from one scene to another effectively. Also he does not let the vampires run around doing their stuff like they should. No one was going to take Vamp seriously. So why not let them kill and mutilate people whenever they can. Or let there minions do it.This could be because of a lack of budget or lack of imagination. Either way it dumbed down the viewing experience and made it more dull then it should have been.
Klik hier voor een recensie van deze film in Nederlands.

Happy Halloween (2013)

31 okt, 19:27



Happy Halloween ladies and gentlemen!!!!!!
I will be holding my traditional horror film marathon. This time however because of several reasons I can't watch multiple in one go. Instead I will spread it over upcoming days combining the festivities of Halloween with Mexican Holiday Dia de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead). Even if such a celebration would not exist I invent one to do it anyway. That is kinda my thing. If it were up to me I would celebrate it the whole year. Why? Simple,because it is fun. Wouldn't that get boring? They do say too much of a good thing will ruin the fun. That is why I am not going overboard. Trust me I know what I am doing. Anyways here is the list of movies I will choose from. Naturally I am aiming to see as much as I can. Naturally I will have to make a selection. Which I will decide at the moment. What can I say I am rather impulsive. I will write reviews for all listed here eventually. 
Possible features:
All Hallows' Eve (2013)
 
Haunter (2013)
Killer Toon (2013)
John Dies at the End (2012)
Vamp (1986)
Rawhead Rex (1986)
Deadly Blessing (1981)
Bruiser (2000)
Cronos (1993)
Miss Chofas very rightly so attended me that more awareness is needed to the celebration Day of the Dead. So an article on this will appear soon.

Review Riddick (2013)

30 okt, 22:25

 a.k.a. The Chronicles of Riddick:
          Dead Man Stalking
genre: science fiction, action/adventure

Riddick is a return to the formula that made the original appealing and successful. Where the focus is on tension and suspense rather than spectacle and action. Riddick doing stealthy kills is much more entertaining than him blasting weapons Star Wars style. Don't get me wrong. I do love me some Star Wars like movies. Preferably as much as possible. But the character Riddick is too much of an anti hero and basically to cool (largely because of Vin Diesel) to have him prancing around as a Luke Skywalker or Han Solo. And that is what they let him do in The Chronicles of Riddick. To me it seemed too much out of character. Luckily David Twohy realized this mistake and brought Riddick back to where he belongs. Him slicing and dicing away scaring the living daylights out of any one who is in his way. However this does not mean that all is fine and dandy. For one thing the length of the film felt artificial.  Somewhere in the second act it drags a little. With not much story going on it is nice to have at least some interesting characters who at least in theory can put up a fight against Riddick.  Only the ones that are present aren't really fleshed out enough. Actually it is obvious they are used as canon fodder and you are going to be rooting for Diesel to kill them of quickly.  Still it manages to pick up the pace to conclude into promise and astonishment.  No real dazzling twist or turn to tease you or anything. It just ends. Again it is obvious that they are paving a way for a sequel. But do we really need one? Hell yes! If they manage to keep Riddick as badass as he is then I won't get bored of it.
I found Riddick to be so much more entertaining than some of the last action/adventures like Man of Steel or The Wolverine I have watched recently.  Mostly because it is not pretentious in any way and that Twohy understands what a good sci fi actioner should be about. What else do you need to know. Go watch it already!

Review Laid to Rest (2009)

29 okt, 18:17

Review Laid to Rest (2009)
genre:horror,slasher

Laid to Rest gets a bad rep. And in my opinion not entirely warranted. While it is true it is lacking what a lot of superior slashers do have like build up in tension and suspense or good story. It makes it up with having a killer that is very relentless and creative. If I had to make a comparison he is very similar to the killer in The Collector and The Collection. He doesn't speak,we don't really get to know what motivates him in doing what he does which does make him mysterious. Does it make him scary? No, he can't even compete with the likes of Jason or Michael Myers. And that probably has to do with the inexperience of Robert Hall as a director. He doesn't know how to put menace into his killer. And this could be the reason why some people have a hard time liking Laid to Rest. So what is there to enjoy? Well the gory kills. I remember seeing the last Final Destination 5 with the reel of all the kills in the entire franchise and laughed my ass off. It is kinda like that. If you can put yourself into that mindset than you will be able to enjoy this. Otherwise stay clear!   

Review The Wolverine (2013)

28 okt, 00:25

 genre:action/adventure,science fiction,comic book adaptation

Having read a few comics in my youth I do know a thing about Wolverine and his mythology.  Him being in Japan looked like this was going to be the most faithful and emotional adaptation of them all. 
Only it was not. In my opinion this was perhaps the second worst of all the X-Men movies, the worst one being X-Men 3: The Last Stand. I know some of you would have thought I would say X-Men: Origins. And no, while they messed up a lot of what the comic books were about I found it to be one of the most entertaining action/adventure movies I had seen that year. I simply could not get hung up about most of the characters being portrayed wrongly since the action and the spectacle was immensely enjoyable and  I was able to forgive them for a lot of flaws. Besides Origins never took itself too seriously as opposed to The Wolverine. Which I did not mind at all. Logan was always a character that was more anti hero than hero. And it was nice to see attempt them to explore this side of him more. But then they stop to look into his character and begin to focus on the compulsory action scenes and other events undoubtedly to keep the fans happy. However they weren't fun at all. For the first time in my life I could not enjoy action scenes set in Japan that featured Yakuza and Ninja. And trust me I have seen some really bad ones. Even the worst of those were vastly more entertaining that what was shown here. The only scene that I truly enjoyed was the one of Wolverine fighting some bad guys on a speeding train. Other turns in the story could not interest me in the slightest. Mariko which is supposed to be of huge importance romantically comes off as your typical damsel in distress. Speaking of damsels. Maybe it was me but Wolverine seemed less ferocious as he can be and it became almost comical how this little red headed Japanese girl had to come to his rescue several times. I was also a little dismayed how less was done with Japan as the scenery. It really could have added to the viewing experience to show some of the beauty and mixed it with the brutal action scenes. To name just one of the many possibilities. 
Overall I am very disappointed as I could barely find reasons to keep watching. I also baffled how many people could say this was good. Exactly what was so good? Sure Hugh Jackman delivers and is always reliable. But is that enough? Not for me. I hate to say this,but avoid this.  

How to beat FINAL BOSS Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

27 okt, 18:04

How to beat this guy?
After pretty much breezing through the game this final boss had me stumped for a while. Because this boss requires a strategy and move I did not had to use before, not once. Your unique weapons can't be used and the parrying technique which the game did force upon you is useless. By doing all this Senator Armstrong basically is a cheap boss. Nevertheless it was fun to go against him therefore worth spending your time on beating. Besides my pride was at stake here. No way I would let a Colossus wannabe be victorious at the cost of my honour especially after the long speech he gave. First he bored me to death then he smashes me to  pulp. No!
Here is what worked the best for me:
- Ninja Run and light attack. - Dodge (hop) and light attack ( You need to buy this move). With this move (at least in my case) the fight will be over in no time. Since you can avoid almost all of his attacks this way except for the volcano attack. 
At one point he will throw big rocks at you. Now I never really bothered in perfecting my blade time skills so I had a little trouble lining up my sword to slice these rocks so I avoided doing that. Which you can do by simply ninja run to the side the minute you can. For the ones that are successful will be rewarded with extra nanopastes. (I suggest to hold on the ones you get previously and try not use them in the Excelsus battle. I personally only needed one because I got careless. If you stay focused you won't need it at all.)
At times he will regenerate his health and emit a green glow. Attacking him randomly will be met by a block and strong counter attack. So don't. Position yourself behind him and then use Blade Time. Try to direct the angle in a way so you will be able to find his weak spot which will be marked by a red square (as it did with all of the previous enemies). Then simply chop away as much as you can. Once you hit him successfully he will be quite weak and defenceless for a while making it easy for you to diminish his health. Having the fuel cells increased or maxed out will help you out immensely.
Be prepared to do a little quick time event after but should no pose much of a problem. I will be giving my thoughts on this game in a later article.

Mini Review Turbo (2013)

23 okt, 03:41

 Mini Review Turbo (2013) genre:animation,action/adventure     Post by Chrichton's World.

Review The Mortal Instruments:City of Bones (2013)

21 okt, 23:40

Review 
The Mortal Instruments:City of Bones (2013)
genre:fantasy,adventure

Sometimes you come across a title that has you stumped. Not because I have mixed feelings about it. No, in this case because I simply can't believe how bad it was. Even the first Twilight was moderately entertaining before it propelled into the worst excuse for a movie franchise ever. The Mortal Instruments in my opinion has no right of existence cinematically speaking. Trust me if I say that I tried very hard to find something to speak in favour of this production. But even the well established actors who normally are competent are at their worst.
First and major problem is the director Harald Zwart,who? Exactly! You can't just use any director to bring magic to the screen. Someone is needed who can handle the genre. With so many directors to choose from this name puzzles me to no end. Since he has no previous experience making fantasy films. I grant him the remake of The Pink Panther and Agent Cody Banks although they had strong leads that helped him a lot. The way he goes from event to event is astounding. There is no sense of emotion attached to it at all. Most of the actors say their lines as if they are expected it to be cut and replaced by voice actors. And then Harald doesn't do anything inventive to dazzle you. 
One example of his lack of vision or incompetence is the big action scene with the vampires (Are there vampires in this? Cool! Nah, the vampires in here are even worse than the glittery ones in Twilight. How is that possible? I know right!). Our heroes are put against their enemies in this large room and in the distant you hear something resembling a techno beat. Instant flashback to Blade. Oh yeah,bring it on........Wait what?......Is that techno? No! Is it trance? No! Hmmmm not any EDM (Electronic Dance Music) style I know off. Honestly how hard can it be to add a heart pumping dance beat? After the initial shock of being let down by the music. I was preparing myself for some exhilarating and well choreographed action.......What? Does that even qualify as action? Even my grandma has more groove in her back. No,no,no, another disappointment. It looked like kids fighting with stick swords in a school play. Which is an insult to those kids because they would have performed it with much more enthusiasm and heart. 
In the beginning Mortal Instruments had a heavy Harry Potter vibe going on. And to be frank, I was ok with this. Then Harald Zwart changed his mind and went all cuckoo and took it away. He went where no one ever should go again. He went all glittery on us. You guessed it. He went to that franchise i have named several times but actually should never be named again. Twilight. This becomes obvious when out of nowhere loves comes into play. Which brings me to the lead,Lily Collins is a pretty girl,no doubt. But after having seen her in Mirror Mirror and in this surely even studio executives must admit more is needed than good looking people and the hint of sex alone. Oh yeah, the love triangle here is hilarious. Two male actors who seem gayer than gay supposedly both are in love with Lily Collins. The drama between them makes Twilight look like Shakespeare. (Ouch,that hurt deep inside just saying that.)
 Do I really need to get into the visuals and style? Apart from some neat monsters and special effects concerning them there was no style. Pretty much everything is as bland as it can get. Only the cities (Toronto and New York) look as impressive as ever. Any one with a decent camera can film on those locations. Haven't you read enough? Please don't let me continue!
Is this worth your time? Maybe it is not fair of me to answer this since I could not find anything positive when watching this film. In the name of righteousness and all that I do want to at least be somewhat democratic. So let me ask some of my homies.
What say you Beertje?

Well,that is very clear.
What say you Miss Chofas? Miss Chofas,where are you?Just in. Miss Chofas was watching this film and then fell into the deepest sleep possible. It has been two days now. She has yet to wake up. 
I think this says it all. Ladies and Gentlemen, stay clear from this production. It's horrible!